The Silver Lining

Have you ever gotten caught in a storm?

I tend to feel very affected by the weather, a gloomy day like that makes me feel down. I’ve had those mornings where I’m only halfway to work when the clouds roll in - stepping through puddles in new shoes and a linen dress, getting drenched in sideways rain before I even get to the office. It would be easy to feel annoyed, frustrated even. But at some point, I would start to laugh.

On a more serious note - In life I’ve learned that going through something hard makes you stronger. Once you get through it, get to the other side, you realize you are capable of handling more than you thought. It gives you perspective, and makes you realize what is most important in life.

It will make you grateful, make you appreciate more, even change your outlook.

I believe everything happens for a reason. When life rains down on you - you lose someone you love, you get sick, you lose your livelihood - it will be hard to think this way. Easily you can question, “why me?” “Why can’t I catch a break?” “Do I deserve this?” But if it never rained, we might not appreciate the sunshine. If we weren’t hurt by someone, we wouldn’t know how good real love feels. And no matter how painful it is to experience loss, how lucky are we to have someone we love so much that makes saying goodbye so hard?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and how for some people this global pandemic has been the hardest thing they have experienced in their lives. Maybe those people were alone, and afraid. Maybe they got sick, and suffered. Maybe something they looked forward to their whole lives was cancelled. For others, this long period of quarantine was a gift. Being able to spend extra time with family, a chance to have more down time. I’m sure everyone had some hard days, but your outlook is probably very relative to your life experience and what you’ve been through prior to this. Either way, it is a time most people will always remember.

Like many others, I had big expectations for 2020.

Last year I came to a realization - I was too comfortable. I was so happy, but I felt like I wasn’t challenging myself or living up to my full potential. So I decided to do something about it.

I signed up for a marathon. I applied to business school. I was growing into a managerial role. I knew it would be a tough year, but if I focused and applied myself, I would accomplish more than I ever thought possible. My success was up to me, within my control. I thought I could handle anything, and approached these challenges with confidence and excitement.

I went from a pretty comfortable existence to experiencing so much newness all within a few weeks. I thought I tried new things all the time. But I had also been in the same job for seven years, my first out of college. I’ve had many lifelong friends. I live in the same state I was born in.

In February my weeks looked like this: 40+ hour full time job, 5 hours of evening classes, 30 hours of school work and 5 hours of training. At the end of the month I traveled east to Ireland. Four days after I got home from Europe, I traveled west to Los Angeles for work. I was writing final papers, delivering presentations in front of all my new classmates, managing my first ad campaign production independently. It was all new, and exciting!

But I also knew I was tired and run down. I was feeling stress constantly - I didn’t have much time for sleep. I probably had a weakened immune system, but who had time to slow down? There was a lot coming up the next few weeks!

Then - boom! The world shut down. I think this pandemic brought new meaning to the old saying:

“We plan, God laughs”.

Within those next weeks a lot did happen. I got sick with Covid-19 and spent a few days in bed. I was furloughed from my job and collecting unemployment. Work opportunities disappeared. Friends weddings were being rescheduled to next year. Financial aid I had secured was no longer available. Trips I planned and were excited for would no longer happen. The marathon I spent a year training for was cancelled.

Everything felt out of my control.

I wanted to believe those around me saying, “now you can focus on school!” “Unemployment pays well!” But if I’m being honest, it was hard to see this pandemic as an opportunity… it felt more like a series of bad luck. I definitely had moments of sadness and disappointment. But that wasn’t going to make anything better. I knew that I couldn’t just sit around and feel sorry for myself.

So I used the extra time I had to run more, and get ahead on training for the marathon in November. I poured myself into schoolwork, and found normalcy in talking to my classmates as if they were my coworkers. I started the blog, and found structure in working every day on it. I learned new recipes. Completed puzzles. Streamed new series. I had more time to read real books, not just textbooks. Even though I missed socializing with friends, I finally had time on weekends to relax.

Yes it was still a weird time, and there was indeed a few unfortunate events.

But hadn’t I also been lucky?

I had gotten sick - but almost none of my friends and family got Covid. My illness was mild compared to people who were hospitalized and to the thousands of people who did not survive it. I believe I have some level of immunity from the virus and I feel safer knowing what it was like to get it, and that I am not spreading it.

I was able to eventually get the antibody test, and donate my plasma so that I could help others battle Covid-19.

I was furloughed and out of work for close to 3 months - but I was able to collect unemployment. I was receiving a living wage and I could pay my rent and utilities I was in contract with.

In a year that was supposed to be relentlessly busy, I had a whole quarter I was able to focus on school. It really was a gift.

I couldn’t hug my loved ones - but I still felt their love and support. I’ll never forget the encouragement they offered me from a distance. In some ways I feel closer to my family and friends than ever before.

The marathon I was training for was cancelled - but I can run it next year, and it will be even better. I had spent a year preparing for it. Six months of planning my weekends around races, and traveling around the city at dawn on Sunday mornings so that I could complete each run for the qualification program. But what would that day be like this year anyway? You run the New York City marathon to hear the crowd roar alongside you, to feel the city you love cheer you on. Running those 26.2 miles without my friends and family there to watch, cheer, and celebrate would not be the same. Cancelling an event this size is a big deal. But after the year this city has had, the 2021 New York City Marathon will be that much more amazing. Whether you are running it or cheering on the sidelines, I smile just thinking about how proud and happy we will be in New York that day. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to be.

And the world slowed down enough for me to stop and catch my breathe. A moment to remind myself how lucky I am, and be thankful.

I’ve dealt with my own struggles. But when I think of strength I picture all the people I love who have faced real adversity, and how they survived it even when each day was so hard. With that sort of perspective, you can see things more clearly.

I knew this period of time was just a weird chapter in my life, and something I would get through.

Well, this week I went back to work for the first time since early April, feeling ready and grateful for the opportunity.

So find the silver lining in the storm.

Try to think about everything you feel grateful for. It will make you appreciate all that you have, and maybe even find a little less to complain about in a day.

When life gets really hard, it can be challenging to stay positive. But I’ve found I’m happier when I look for a silver lining, rather than complain about the storm. A simple shift in outlook could change the way you see everything.

And when all else fails, have a good laugh!

It’s the best medicine.

Xx Gab