What Would Have Been Marathon Sunday

The last year and a half I was focused with a date in mind: November 1st, 2020. The date of what would be my first marathon. And what would be the 50th Anniversary of the NYC Marathon!

Today I would’ve risen before the sun, laced up my shoes, and made my way to Staten Island. Hours of waiting around for the race kick off, followed by the sheer excitement of seeing group 1 (the fastest and seasoned marathoners) begin their race. Then it would be my turn to get going. I’d first cross the Verrazano bridge to begin my 26.2 mile run through all five boroughs, and finally finish in Central Park. The toughest feat I’d ever put my body through for sure, but also the most exhilarating and rewarding experience.

A few months ago I learned that in a very rare turn of events, the marathon would be cancelled in 2020. It made sense as Covid-19 was limiting group gatherings everywhere and this particular event has 50,000 racers, and hundreds of thousands of spectators. It was too dangerous to continue as it was, and too hard to modify. Thus, the decision was made to cancel the race, for only the second time in history. The other was due to Hurricane Sandy’s aftermath in 2012.

What did that mean for all the runners? What did that mean for me?

I had already qualified for guaranteed entry in the marathon through the NYRR 9+1 program in 2019… completing 9 of the approved races and volunteering at 1. I hoped that the months of training, time, and effort I had dedicated would not be for nothing, and the good news is that I will have guaranteed entry to the marathon again either in 2021, 2022, or 2023. I’m not sure based on capacity limitations which year I’ll be able to do. But if I can do 2021 I’ll be thrilled.

The fact is that as much as running brings me joy, and feels healthy to do, it’s also a commitment just like anything else. Earlier this year while on furlough from my job, I suddenly found myself with flexibility in my schedule and more time to run every day. I was still in grad school full time taking 3 classes, and building out this website, but I could make time to do my work whenever I wanted. It was an opportunity for me to get in the best shape, to be more fit than I had before. I continued to run, without upcoming races or events to keep me motivated for. I kept pushing farther and every run felt better, easier - more freeing. I was understanding how much training works.

But the past few months were a series of great ups and downs. The marathon being cancelled definitely took the pressure off for daily runs. I worked out when I wanted to and felt good to do so. Then I fell into an extremely busy and stressful time at work, doubled with the pressure (and excitement) to confirm our wedding plans before venues and dates booked up.

A calendar full of meetings, appointments, classes and planned school time already had me busy. But I was overwhelmed family and personal health issues, commitments with friends, and just general anxiety. Sometime in October I stopped working out for the first time since I was probably in college. I mean - no activity, barely even walking - I lost most of the muscle I built over months of work.

So with all that’s been going on, I’m not sure what the marathon would’ve even looked like for me. Would I have had the time to train appropriately? Would I have even finished? Would I have been even more run down, more on edge?

Maybe this was for the best, that I was able to take 1 MASSIVE commitment off my plate while juggling a lot of other things. I could’ve ran the virtual marathon instead but it wouldn’t have been the same. No one to cheer you on and keep you going? I need some people out on the course encouraging me not to give up, even when I’m hurting.

I really did take this years cancellation as a sign, it just wasn’t meant to be. I used that extra time I was given wisely, and kept myself feeling more balanced, happy, and fulfilled. I was able to make time for what is most important, making memories with family and friends.

I do think about what it would’ve been like to run the race today. The thrill of finally getting a chance to try and complete this big personal goal. But I have my sights set on 2021, and that incredible day next year when I’ll (hopefully) get to run the NYC marathon.

With that, tomorrow I’ll be starting from the ground up. It’s a new month, and I have one year to get myself back in shape and ready for this race. I’ll have to start all over, with short 2-3 mile runs and grow them slowly over time.

I have several milestones coming up in December. Like the end of my first season I’ve managed on my own. My last finals week for school and graduation. Six months of running this blog. The end of one crazy ass year!!

I think we’ve all been through a lot in 2020…. but it’s also been a time to reset. Rather than be sad thinking at what today would have been, I’m choosing to believe instead that this is another lesson to be learned. And even though I’m ACTUALLY in the WORST shape, I know that at the end of this year we’ll all be stronger than we were.

Xx

Gab

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